Amazingly...

It's been an AMAZING week and I hope the rest of the year follows as well,I so need a break from the what can only be described as a depressing 4 years.It wasn't all depressing but when you are clawing & climbing your way back out of a dark pit it sure can seem like all.I've done a lot of reading on the subject of grief & mourning and have learned that  going thru the grieving process not only affects you mentally  but physically as well.Over the course of the first 3 years I developed arthritis like joint pain,some days almost debilitating.I read about Fibromyalgia,Rheumatoid Arthritis,you name it I thought maybe I was getting it and other than the overwhelming sense of loss over my sons death I couldn't understand why I would have so much pain in my joints,especially my neck which sometimes felt too heavy for my head,when physically I was always healthy.I lived like this for probably 3 years when one day I woke up and it was gone,just like that.The heaviness I felt pushing down on me all the time ,vanished.They say the 2nd to 4th year post loss is hard ,it's the time of acceptance & coming to terms with your loss and then taking those steps to move forward,our loved ones wouldn't want to know we suffered for so long and living inside a dark place is no life at all.I have also discovered this week just how much my family has grown & overcome despite all the things life has thrown at them.I'm very proud of my children,even when they occasionally make bad choices,which we all do, we are only human afterall.I also discovered that it is possible to fall in love with the same person twice and have a new beginning and that sometimes the 2nd time is better because you already know each other at the deepest levels,there's none of that awkward,getting to know you phases.I could look back over my life and think what a clusterfuck but I don't,each happening whether good or bad,has an important lesson to be taken from it..Life is short,love the ones your with,&  never forget to say I love you!