...my sweet boy!24 years ago today at 2:59 a.m. I welcomed into the world my 2nd born son.I still remember my very 1st look at my son and thinking "he's so beautiful!".Danny was a very special gift,entrusted to me to nurture & love and I loved him from the moment I knew I was pregnant.Back then they didn't do much prenatal testing on 21 year old mothers to be and other than having having a weird "feeling"my pregnancy was uneventful.My doctor chalked it up to 2nd time jitters but I knew deep down something wasn't quite right.My intuition was spot on and shortly after his birth I was told my son probably had Down Syndrome.genetic testing needed to be done to verify but based on his features I knew.My only experience with DS was having seen them in the special ed classes and having worked at a school for special needs children which had some of the worst of the worst disabilities.I was frightened and thought "My God what have I done to my son!"even tho it was no ones fault, his particular form of Trisomy 21 was not familial,just a 'fluke" as per the genetiscist,I still felt incredible guilt that I had somehow caused this.The pediatrician came in to see me and asked me if I was taking him home?I remember being speechless for a moment then asking "What do you mean am I taking him home? Of course I'm taking him home he's my baby boy!"The thought never once crossed my mind that I would not be taking my beautiful black haired baby boy home with me.He was mine,I was his and it would always be that way.I vowed to him that I would always be there to protect him,to keep him safe from the darkness of the world and I did that until one night a monster came and stole him from us.Danny was a funny,smart,gorgeous kid and he beat al the odds from what I was first presented with when he was born.He sat up ,crawled,walked,potty trained all within the normal developmental time lines,his only delay was in speech which never developed beyond the level of a 2 year old.We never did get an answer as to why being as high functioning as he was, that he could not speak.He stubbornly refused to learn sign language and instead made up his own version of communication.We understood him but others didn't so he used a communication board which spoke for him at school.Danny grew into a handsome young man and was transitioning into living & working as an adult thru the Life Skills program at his HS when he died.Having been told by the geneticist when he was born that if he lived to be 2 we would be lucky even tho he didn't have the usual health problems associated with DS,I was always aware that because of his particular genetic defect he would be prone to certain diseases.I never ever expected it would be T1 diabetes aka Juvenile diabetes that would quietly steal him from us.We never knew what was killing him beneath the surface.It came on suddenly and he was gone in the blink of an eye under the ruse of being a stomach bug.I remember thinking "Why God have you taken my precious boy from me?"Danny died 12 days before his 20th birthday, it was a Saturday morning and I had gone in to check on him,it was the most horrible ,terrifying thing I have ever lived through.I was the 1st to see him when he was born,the 1st to see him when he died,a Mothers heart so full of love yet so broken.It's been a long,difficult 4 years but things have slowly gotten better.I can accept now that my son is no longer with me,that I will never hear his laugh,see his smile or steal a hug from him until my own journey here on earth is done but I know someday I will see him again,my Angel in Heaven.Happy Heavenly 24th Birthday Danny,look for your Skittles in the sky today my sweet boy....
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