Journey through grief ..

I've spent the last 4 and a 1/2 years walking on the path of grieving for my son and it's been a long and tiresome journey.There's been a lot of twists & turns,huge obstacles to overcome,times when I had to walk the path alone and gallons & gallons of tears shed.Grief can cause a lot of damage in a relationship and my husband and I almost didn't make it but I think the remembrance of my son's strength and just his simple love of life saw us through it all.Grief also causes a lot of physical symptoms.For a time I swore I was suffering from arthritis,every joint in my body hurt.Headaches,insomnia,panic attacks..grief is not just a feeling,it effects every fiber of your being and it takes time to heal.A lot of time.I remember when the world always seemed dark & gray,there were no more  colors,sounds were monotone and every morning having to get out of bed a chore.But it does pass..one day you realize that ,that flower you are looking at is the most vivid shade of pink and you realize just how peaceful the world sounds while you sip your morning coffee & listen to the birds greeting the sun as it comes up.I love my son and I miss him terribly but I

also know the disservice I would be causing him by not living.What I was doing was not living,I was existing,not fair just to him but to my surviving children,my husband and myself.I have chosen to live and enjoy every minute of it..for Danny<3